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A Talent For The 21st Century
• Jose Lima would never hurt you like that: The Long Beach Armada has won a $250,000 lawsuit against Jose Canseco. Yeah, good luck collecting on that. [Ballpark Digest]...

The Slow Descent Into Madness Of Mel Kiper Jr.
• ON THE CLOCK!: Photographic evidence of Todd McShay's mind control over his mock draft rival. [The Sports Hernia Blog]...

Bruins Announcer Just Can't Control His Homerism
• Julian Tavarez sobers up, apologizes to the fat Nationals sleeping in his bed: "I want to apologize for the comments that I made. I didn't mean to make those comments. I want to apologize to my teammates, all the fans in Washington, my manager and the media. I wasn't serious. It was something I di...

Dwight Howard Could Become The New Ally McBeal Dancing Baby If He's Not Careful
• Kerry Rhodes thinks Jay Cutler has a case of the big heads:" It's ok to be confident and talk if that's what you do, but you don't continuolsy do it at the point where it's already done…it's redundant, just let it go."[SRI]...

Rick Fox Bags Himself An Eliza Dushku
• Maybe they're just good friends: Please be just good friends? [The Big Lead]...

Yeah, Lebron James Is Rather Skilled At This Half-Court Game
• CHJ lands another big interview: Dick Vitale talked with his hands, cleared his throat, spun yarns. [College Hoops Journal]...

Let's Try A Kournikova-Based Economy
• Bing bong: Anna K rang the bell at the New York Stock Exchange yesterday. So that's where all my money went. [Bob's Blitz]...

Anna Rawson To Join Illustrious Ranks Of Discount Website Peddlers
Fore: Golfer Anna Rawson is the newest Go Daddy Girl. I believe the key word is "tasteful." [Oob Golf]...

Take A Ride In Lane Kiffin's New Company Car
• Perfect for mobile recruiting violations: Presenting the Vol Camino. It's for sale too! Runs great, but not on roads in Florida. [Mizzourah]...

Creighton Girls Love The B-Jays
• Hey, I didn't make the shirt: I think she got her point across, don't you? [Intentional Foul]...

Hockey Sheik Is Watching You
• Don't you feel safe?: Fear not, citizens of Dubai. None of your ice sport endeavors will escape the reassuring gaze of your mighty protector. (Seriously, don't try anything.) [Orland Kurtenblog]...

Sing Along With Peyton Manning
More like the devil's accountant: Scott Boras is not the devil. But I bet he could get old Beelzebub a six-year deal in the $40 million neighborhood. [Nationals Enquirer]...